Keeping them alive kept me from killing myself.
Neko died, just a day after he started to sicken.
"Some kind of horse plague went through that man's stables. Up the coast, to Rippon." He cleared his throat. "Duke Grizzle sold Neko and six mares, and I went with them. Or as if he'd been pushed past anger and hurt into numbness. It was as if my angry words had never been spoken. I felt no hostility from him, no animosity. He sat on it and began taking his boots off. Maybe he was lonely for someone his own age. Then the rest of the day, he'd have me at his heels. So he taught me what he knew of it, and arranged for me to learn it from a man who knew its strategies. They'd just handed me a pike and sent me out to fight. I'd never had any formal training at it before. Weapons practice till neither of us could stand. He took a thieving, unkempt scoundrel and.
It was what he believed a man should want to be. I know you've heard people say Chivalry was cold and stiff and correct to a fault. "When I woke up, the dog had a master again. He said he feared more to stay, feared he could not keep his resolve with you. What I said to you earlier, I was angry, I was. The fear surged up in me, undercutting my resolve. What I had been snarling for earlier now seemed like an abandonment. Why soldier for no pay and extra duties?" He docked my pay and gave me more duties. He cocked his head as a dog will when it hears something far off. I stood before him, ready to hate him, and he just looked at me. Everyone expected Chivalry to discharge me the second time. what we might have been in different circumstances. And something like recognition passed between us. I stood there before him and I met his eyes. Almost all his troops were older than I I had expected to confront a middle-aged man. "The first time I was hauled before the Prince, bloody and struggling still, I was shocked to see we were of an age.
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"Only in the way that people who know one another best know how to hurt one another best," I pleaded. And he said, `All right, show me how you held off five men.' And lit into me." He cleared his throat. I thought he intended to beat me to death. He took off his shirt and picked up a pike from the corner. Then he stood up without a word and pushed his table back to a corner of the room. He sat behind his table, some half-finished writing before him, and looked me up and down. "Chivalry dismissed the Guards, with a purse to pay for damages to the tavern keeper. It was little different from dying oneself. But Burrich had experienced the actual, violent death of his bond companion. "Right on target." The sound he made might have been a laugh, if not so freighted with bitterness.īurrich had taken Nosy away from me when I was less than that age. He made me see it was more than rules, it was a way of being. He taught me to be a man, not a beast in a man's shape. He showed them to me as a man's values, not just manners for inside a woman's house. He put a value on what my mother and grandmother had tried to instill in me so long ago. Then in general charge of the pack beasts and wagon animals. "He taught me numbers first, then reading. "Chade said I should leave you tomorrow," he said quietly. Perhaps Chade could leech some of the poison I'd sprayed at Burrich. Perhaps Burrich could talk Chade into coming back until morning. I felt jealous that they were together while I was alone.
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